Why the heck is it so hard to change?


Change is inevitable.

Even if you resist change, it will still happen.

So why wait, or fret about changes that happen in your life?

Over the last couple of years, a lot has changed in my life.  Some changes for the better, some not so good.

For instance, once upon a time, I was naive enough to think that there were some things that would never change. Things like, I would move in the same circle of friends, I would continue down the same path in my career, I would never think of moving or selling my home, and I was staying in my church forever.

If you relate to any of that then you know that change happens whether you like it or not.  Friends suddenly move on, that career becomes not what you envisioned, and the Universe has a different plan that is not in a direction you can even imagine.

The most important thing to realize about change is its growth!  It's learning to flow with the stream instead of fighting against the tide.

It's understanding that you may grow in a different direction from friends and colleagues and when that happens it's OK to make new friends and new contacts.

Moving and changing to grow and expand is part of fulfilling your purpose.

So, why the heck is it so hard to change?

There are a couple of things:

1.  Old habits are hard to shake.

2. You have an enormous desire, though you don't know how to make it happen so you don't make a move.

3. You don't believe that your dreams and goals can really happen.

4. You are afraid of failure and the repercussions that you perceive come with that.

5.  You think you need to be perfect before you can achieve your goals and dreams.

All of these reasons are just thoughts coming from feelings that are preventing you from moving forward, changing your present, to achieve your future.


If this sounds like you, I can help you.

First grab my free resource The 5 Steps to Intentional Change.  HERE!

Then book a free consult with me and lets get you moving and embracing change in your life! HERE!


Have a great day!

How do I get unstuck?


How do you feel when you get stuck?

Do you feel overwhelmed, burned out, or just lose your motivation and inspiration?

I'm here to tell you don't beat yourself up because everyone at some point in their journey gets stuck.

There are ways to get unstuck and out of overwhelm and they're not as difficult as you might think.

These past couple of months have been a little tough in my household.  When you have a large family something is always going on, and when it's two or more then it can get a little hairy.  By that I mean, challenging!

So, how do I cope?  I'm going to give you some very easy things that I do that can get you back on track with your goals, dreams, relationships, and your life!

1.  The first thing is don't beat yourself up.  It's OK to pause!  By pause I mean take a breath.  Get off social media, or get on and have fun whichever one is less stressful.  SM can get overwhelming if you are using it for your biz, and not seeing the results you want.  Then again, it can be fun to do some silly reels and also watch some!

2.  Don't hustle all the time.  Consistency is what pays off.  That's in all areas of your life.  After cooking meals for my family for decades, I have to remind myself it's ok to let them cook.  They are all adults and CAN fend for themselves.  If you are cooking, enjoy it!  Take the time to enjoy making that new recipe and take in all the wonderful smells of the seasonings and veggies you are chopping and dicing.

3.  Do take time to meditate and/or pray.  I get stuck mainly because my mind gets cluttered and I don't have clarity.  When I recognize that, I immediately get out my Young Living Essential Oils and grab one that appeals to me as well as one I know will help clear my thoughts.  Using Essential Oils will help you get unstuck much faster than if you don't use them.

Remember feeling stuck or overwhelmed comes from your thoughts.  Changing your thoughts and clearing your mind will immediately get you going in the direction you want to again.


One thing to remember here is our thoughts attract similar thoughts.  So, if I am having low vibrating thoughts then that's where my mind is going to continue going unless I stop it.

Here's a link to a freebie S.T.O.P. that will help you from getting stuck in the first place!

Have an awesome week!

Help! What Happened to my Routine?


Have you ever been really sticking to your daily routine and then "poof" it goes out the door!

You had your time for everything.  It was going great until..................

You had the next baby, the teenager snuck out, then everyone got the stomach virus............

And, suddenly your routine is so hard to get back to.

Why is that?

Let me tell you, it's not the physical part that's hard, it's the mental fatigue, the feelings of not being in control, the thoughts that you are not managing.

It's the mindset that can creep into your already overtaxed Mamas' mind that is the real culprit and it can derail you for days, weeks, and sometimes months.

When routine goes out the window so does, health, exercise, the house, the kids, the spouse, and anything else in the mix.  Going through the fast-food window seems like a really good idea when the kitchen is full of last night's plates and dishes.  So how do you break the cycle and get back into a healthy routine?

Here are a few tips for you:

1.  Get everyone involved.

If the house got out of order then everyone was part of that so get everyone together and allocate jobs to all to get it tidy, clean, and everything in place.  When this happens at my house and suddenly we have a guest coming, everyone has to get on board.  One person is not responsible for the household mess, or clean up.  Besides, you can make a game of it, have small prizes for little ones, and a $ or two for the older ones.  You might be surprised, they could enjoy it and have fun as well as make memories.

2.  Make sure your mindset is right.

Kids are really great at mirrored behavior, as are spouses, friends, and anyone else you know.  In other words when you are feeling frustrated and it's coming out in the form of a raised voice, or other actions that cause tension, then everyone around will mirror your behavior.   Starting the clean-up project with the right attitude is 90% of the battle.

3.  Plan to have some favorite fun time after.

Think about a fun activity that you can do after it's all cleaned up.  Maybe a trip to the park, a favorite treat, anything as long as you don't make more mess before you get your routine established again.  This is what I call good Mama bribery.  Rewards are great incentives to teach your family to all pitch in whether it's cleaning up, cooking, yard work, the laundry, or any other chore that's part of daily life.

4.  Make sure you have practical storage for kid's/teens stuff.

When my large family was young I soon worked out that with 8 under 7 I was going to have a lot of toys, videos, trikes, etc., and I needed storage so I wasn't tripping over everything.  I ended up finding two large wicker boxes with lids that really did not cost a lot, looked nice, could be used for end tables, and held all the little stuff that's so hard to put away.  I highly recommend something to keep the tidying up fun and easy.  

And don't forget those young adults who need places to keep their "stuff" tidy, and most of all, able to be found! I can't tell you how many times my teens have had their clothes all over the place and got out of routine.  Make sure they have a hamper for the dirty ones, and a clothes basket for clean ones to put away!

5.  The power of praying.

So, one of my secret weapons with my kids was the power of prayer.  Oh, and I don't mean going to my prayer closet, I mean if they were in a disagreement, for the want of a better word, I would get them together and have them join hands and pray for each other.  Nothing like having to pray for that brother or sister is faster to get things back on track.  A little God guilt never hurt anyone of my kids.  It did make them think twice about picking on their brother or sister though! LOL!  This works with your teens and young adults as well.  Heck, prayer works for everyone!


Once you get your routine back then make sure you watch for the little things that can throw it right back out again.  In the next blog, I'll give you some great daily habits to put in the day that will help you stay sane and healthy!

Here's my free X-Factor Formula to success!  Grab it HERE!

Do you want to get sane and healthy literally?  Here's my signature program that will ensure your success in just one hour a week!  Grab it HERE!

And if you'd like to chat with me on a virtual coffee zoom grab your 15 minutes' worth of gold HERE!

Have an awesome week!

Are you still Sane and Healthy after the pandemic?



So, what is SANE???????

Well, I always say "insanity" is heredity, you get it from your kids, although I think these last couple of years have taken a toll on most Mamas.

Whether you've been homeschooling and working, or homeschooling and never getting a break, not being able to be as social as "normal," or feeling locked in, you've probably felt the shift in how feelings are flowing.

And, now things are starting to get going again, it's hard to find the new normal, the new sane, and get out of the sweatpants, and find out if you have been using food as a comfort just a tad too much!

With all of this craziness of the seemingly endless mask-wearing, non-socializing lifestyle comes fear.  Fear of being ill, fear of not being enough for everyone, fear surrounding teaching your kids, fear of your marriage coming to a place of disarray because of close quarters and short tempers.  Fear of the news, the numbers, what's coming next, and keeps you from being yourself, or what you once knew as yourself.

Fear comes in all forms and generally ends up with you feeding it unintentionally.  Food, wine, binge-watching Netflix because of the lack of social interaction with your peers.  It can make you overprotective of your kids, eat way more take-out than you should, and be frustrated as well as short-tempered.

So, what can you do as things begin to get back to what will become the "new normal?"  Here are a few tips:

1.  Let go of perfection.

Let's face it, this is not the time to even try to be the "perfect Mama!"  If, and I do mean IF, there is such a thing.  Perfection is FEAR!  Yup, fear of failing, fear of not being enough, fear of not getting your home is house and garden LOL!  Let perfection go, and the stress will ease up.

2. Having a schedule to manage the "unknown."

As a Mama of a very large family, routines and schedules are a must.  In the last couple of years, all of that had to be flexible and schedules had to be reworked to fit what was happening, both known, and unknown.  Kids feel way more secure with a routine, and when you have one in place, their behavior improves, and life gets to have more sanity and insanity!

3.  Calming the storms.

As much as you can feel overwhelmed and frustrated, so can kids.  In fact, your energy of anxiety, overwhelm, or frustration, will attract the same from your kids, and vice versa.  When they are acting out if you can take a breath and stay calm, your energy will cause them to be calm as well.  Sounds crazy?  No.  Two opposite energies cannot exist in the same space.  So keep your sanity by breathing your way and theirs to calmness.

4. Emotions are waves.

All feelings are waves, felt internal, and cannot last forever.  They will pass through and diminish if you are present, aware, and let them.  Emotions are waves until there is an action that then escalates the feeling into an emotion.  Emotions are feelings with actions.  It's not great to hide your feelings as they tend to build up and then explode as an action-packed emotion.  Let your kids know when you need a hug as well as comfort them when they need one.

5. Embrace every opportunity.

Kids are resilient, but they have feelings and emotions.  They have personalities, and if yours are anything like mine, they are all different.  Take every opportunity to make each child know they are understood, loved, and wanted.  Just like you can have thoughts of rejection, unworthiness, and loneliness, your kids can have those too.
Let them know you're their cheerleader as well as their Mama.

Please go and join my new FB group "Sane and Healthy Mamas"  Here's the LINK to do that!

Here's my signature program if you'd like to check that out.  It's all about being Sane and Healthy! CLICK HERE

If you'd like to chat over coffee (virtually) on the house, book a time HERE!  (That's 15 minutes' worth of gold!)

That's it for now!  Give yourself some love today!






The Truth about Making Relationships Work!


Okie dokie!  It's nearly February!

The so called month of love................

Valentine's Day!

Red roses, chocolates, diamonds, and anything else you can think of!

I'm going to go here and talk about the different scenarios for this particular holiday......

One is you're happily coupled, meaning, married, betrothed, but together with your mate.

Two is you're unhappily coupled..........with all that comes with that........

And three you're alone.  No partner, just you and friends.

In every one of these situations, there is love, great love, to be experienced and built upon.

I know you are going, well, I can't see that, but let's just take a step back and look at a few things I could mention that have worked in my forty-two years of amazing marriage with my awesome hubby!

First and foremost there is the Platinum Rule.  This goes for couples and for singles.

For couples?  You treat your partner better than yourself, and always put them first.  Applies to both partners.

For singles?  You treat yourself better than anyone else and make sure you're not saying Yes when you should be saying NO!

When you are already in a harmonious relationship, this Platinum rule will take your marriage, or partnership to a much greater level.  Imagine putting each others needs ahead of your own.  Do you know how good that feels?💖 

And, even if it is only one-sided to start off, it will change the dynamics.  There will be more kindness, pleasure, and all the good feels.

Now, if the relationship is a little rocky, applying the Platinum rule is going to take this out of rocky to a more stable, friendly, and kind place.  It's hard to argue when someone is intentionally being kind and looking after you.  When that significant other has cooked a favorite meal, or put candles on the table, opened a bottle of wine, and laid out the cheese and crackers!  💖 

Mending relationships has to start somewhere so why not with you?  You'll be surprised how that tension eases when there's loving kindness involved.

And, so you're single.............for whatever reason.  Well, there's no need not to celebrate yourself, your achievements, and give yourself some self-care/love. ❤️  

Intentional loving kindness will melt the ice, the tension, the argument, and the resistance, as long as you can let go of any resistance you feel.  Taking the first step and letting go of any negative feelings whether that's with a partner or yourself is the road to not only living a better life, having a better relationship, but to the art of "Having It All."


You see you already have the power of love living within you.  Tap into that power and let it loose!

You also have the power within you to change your feelings when they don't align with how you want to feel.  Take a moment and start thinking on better things.  When you start thinking of a better situation, not apportioning blame, not assuming you know what the other person is thinking, then the feeling will change.  When you begin to look for the good, the feeling will change, and the relationship will change.

Deliberately creating what you want means you focus on what you want the outcome to be, even in relationships.  Bringing good, happy, wonderful, memories to mind, changes how you think and you feel.

Using a Young Living emotional Essential Oil will help make this work better and faster.  If you don't know about those then book a coffee chat with me and I'll be happy to help you.

Changing our feelings, and emotions is key to good relationships.

Speaking and acting with kindness is key to good relationships.

Applying the Platinum rule is key to GREAT relationships.

If this speaks to you please book a free virtual call with me today!   Here's the LINK!

And, please accept my gift to you, 5 Steps to Change.  Get it HERE!
 
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