I Felt Like a Fake!


The first words out of my mouth after I walked in was "Honey I feel like a fake!"

I had walked in for surgery with no limp, no walker, no cane, no wheelchair, so why was I here? Everybody else had not walked in without help of some sort.

I knew that answer.

A knee replacement. A constant cry from my orthopedic doctor for seven years!

I did the gel shots and they worked at first, but then in June they worked no more.

I couldn't exercise the way I used to.

I couldn't walk the mountain.

My body was being pulled out of alignment because my left leg was out of alignment because of the chronic arthritis, and the bone on bone situation in my knee.

I would go to the chiropractor and she would put me back only for my leg to pull me right back out.

My brain would tell me I was ok, it was ok, but somewhere that voice inside said, "Nope, you ain't OK!"

Turns out my brain was used to, and was suppressing, the actual pain I was feeling.

No wonder, I was tired, dragging along without motivation, purpose, intent, and struggling to get through each and every day.

My normal exercise routine was out the window, I was beat by five o'clock, my memory and mind was foggy, and I told myself it was managing a large family, with work and life balance.

All baloney, and what my mind had got used too!

"I feel like a fake!"  That statement came from all of my brains efforts to "keep calm and carry on."  Don't rock the boat.  You're fine, take a pain pill.

Well none of it was fake, my brain was giving me misinformation and I was buying it.

Twenty-four hours after surgery, I have less pain, and my mind is sharp again.  My first thoughts this morning was, "It's November 1st!  The Thirty Day Abundance Challenge."

No more drowning in repressing pain and the feelings that came with that.

What do you feel fake about?

I can help.

Contact me for a free consultation!  HERE!

And here's a freebie just for you!  HERE!

"Breaking the Loop: A Guide to Overcoming Repetitive Behavior"




Repetitive behavior can become a powerful force that keeps us trapped in unproductive cycles, preventing personal growth and hindering our ability to adapt to new situations. When we repeatedly engage in the same actions, whether they're detrimental habits, negative thought patterns, or self-sabotaging behaviors, we inadvertently build a rigid framework around our lives. This rigid framework not only limits our potential for change but also diminishes our capacity to explore new opportunities and experiences.

One of the key ways repetitive behavior can make us stuck is by reinforcing the status quo. Our brains are wired to seek comfort and familiarity, and when we continually engage in the same actions, our minds become accustomed to this routine. This leads to resistance when we try to deviate from these established patterns, as our brains interpret change as a threat. 

Consequently, we find ourselves trapped in a never-ending loop, where the comfort of the familiar overrides our desire for growth and change. This stagnation can manifest in various aspects of our lives, from relationships and careers to personal development and overall happiness.

Moreover, repetitive behavior can also impact our self-esteem and self-worth. When we repeatedly engage in actions that are counterproductive or harmful, it can lead to a sense of powerlessness and low self-esteem. We may begin to believe that we are incapable of breaking free from these patterns, further solidifying our sense of being stuck. 

Overcoming repetitive behavior often requires a combination of self-awareness, determination, and a willingness to embrace change, but it is a crucial step toward leading a more fulfilling and adaptable life.

Breaking repetitive behavior can be challenging, but it's essential for personal growth and well-being. Here are some strategies to help you break free from these patterns:

  1. Self-awareness: The first step is recognizing that you're engaging in repetitive behavior. Pay attention to your actions, thoughts, and emotions. Journaling or keeping a diary can be helpful in identifying recurring patterns.
  2. Identify triggers: Explore what triggers the repetitive behavior. Is it stress, boredom, fear, or a specific situation? Understanding the underlying causes can help you address them more effectively.
  3. Set clear goals: Define what you want to change and why. Having clear, specific goals provides motivation and direction. Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable.
  4. Replace with positive habits: Instead of trying to eliminate the repetitive behavior entirely, consider replacing it with healthier alternatives. For example, if you're prone to stress-eating, replace it with a relaxation technique like deep breathing or meditation.
  5. Seek support: Share your goals with friends, family, or a therapist. They can provide encouragement, accountability, and valuable insights. Group therapy or support groups with people facing similar challenges can also be beneficial.
  6. Create a routine: Establishing a daily routine can help break the cycle of repetitive behavior. It provides structure and reduces the likelihood of falling back into old patterns.
  7. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, can help you become more aware of your actions and reactions. This awareness can help you respond to triggers more thoughtfully.
  8. Use positive reinforcement: Reward yourself for making progress. Celebrate small victories along the way to motivate yourself to continue breaking the repetitive behavior.
  9. Learn new skills: Sometimes, repetitive behavior stems from a lack of alternatives. Invest time in acquiring new skills or hobbies that can replace the old habits with something more constructive.
  10. Professional help: If your repetitive behavior is deeply ingrained or has a significant negative impact on your life, consider seeking professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychologist. They can provide specialized strategies and support tailored to your specific situation.
  11. Practice patience: Breaking repetitive behavior takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, and don't get discouraged by setbacks. Persistence is key to long-lasting change.
  12. Track your progress: Keep a record of your efforts and progress. This visual representation can motivate you and provide insights into what strategies are working best for you.
Remember that breaking repetitive behavior is a process, and setbacks are a natural part of it. The key is to remain committed to change and continue working towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.


The Bible also offers guidance and principles that can be applied to breaking negative repetitive behaviors, although it may not explicitly address modern psychological or behavioral terminology. Here are some relevant passages and principles:

  1. Repentance and Forgiveness: The Bible emphasizes the importance of repentance and seeking forgiveness for one's sins. In breaking negative behaviors, acknowledging one's wrongdoing and asking for forgiveness can be a crucial step. A key verse on this topic is 1 John 1:9 (NIV): "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
  2. Renewal of the Mind: Romans 12:2 (NIV) encourages believers to renew their minds: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Changing repetitive behaviors often starts with changing thought patterns and perspectives.
  3. Seeking Wisdom: Proverbs is a book in the Bible filled with wisdom and practical advice. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) reminds us to trust in the Lord and seek His wisdom in our decisions: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
  4. Resisting Temptation: The Bible addresses the concept of resisting temptation, which is often a key aspect of breaking negative behaviors. James 4:7 (NIV) encourages believers to resist the devil: "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
  5. Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) speaks about the "fruit of the Spirit," which includes qualities like self-control: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law." Developing these qualities can help individuals overcome negative behaviors.
  6. Accountability and Support: The Bible also encourages believers to support one another and hold each other accountable. Galatians 6:2 (NIV) states, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Seeking support from a faith community or trusted individuals can be beneficial in overcoming repetitive negative behaviors.
And, although the Bible provides valuable spiritual and moral guidance, it's essential to remember that breaking negative repetitive behaviors often requires a holistic approach, including psychological and behavioral strategies. Many people find that integrating biblical principles with counseling, therapy, and self-help techniques is effective in addressing these challenges.

Grab my free resource about the "Five Stages of Change" HERE!

If you would like a free virtual coffee with me to ask more questions about changing behavior go HERE!

Essential Oils will also help you have faster, bigger, breakthroughs with change!  Check them out HERE!


Change your thoughts, Change your world!











Things you should know about the third "C"


Changing our thoughts is crucial for our well-being and overall quality of life and can be downright challenging!  Especially when something has happened to cause stress, worry, and chip away at your beliefs.  This is why the 5 "C's" are useful when one of these situations arises.

Changing negative thoughts is crucial for our well-being and overall quality of life. When we allow negative thoughts to take hold, they can consume us and drain our energy, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. By consciously challenging and transforming negative thoughts into positive ones, we empower ourselves to cultivate a more optimistic outlook on life. 

This shift in mindset opens up a world of possibilities, enabling us to see opportunities where we once saw obstacles. It promotes resilience, self-confidence, and a greater sense of control over our emotions and actions. Ultimately, choosing to change negative thoughts allows us to nurture a healthier and more fulfilling inner dialogue, paving the way for personal growth, improved relationships, and a more positive and joyful existence.

Here are five ways to help change a negative thought into a more positive one:

  1. Awareness and Challenge: Begin by becoming aware of negative thoughts as they arise. Pause and consciously question their validity. Ask yourself if there is evidence to support the negative thought or if there could be alternative perspectives. Challenge the negative thought by replacing it with a positive or more balanced statement.
  2. Reframing: Reframing involves consciously shifting your perspective on a situation. Instead of focusing solely on the negatives, try to find the silver lining or a more constructive angle. Look for opportunities for growth, learning, or gratitude within the situation. Reframing allows you to see the bigger picture and reframe negative experiences as valuable lessons.
  3. Positive Affirmations: Positive affirmations are powerful statements that reinforce positive beliefs about oneself. Choose affirmations that counteract your negative thoughts and repeat them regularly. By affirming positive qualities or outcomes, you can rewire your subconscious mind to embrace more positive and empowering thoughts.
  4. Gratitude Practice: Cultivating a gratitude practice can help shift your focus from negative thoughts to the positive aspects of your life. Each day, take a few moments to reflect on things you are grateful for, whether big or small. This practice promotes a mindset of appreciation and helps counterbalance negative thinking patterns.
  5. Self-Compassion: Negative thoughts often stem from self-criticism and judgment. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding. When negative thoughts arise, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and has setbacks. Offer yourself words of encouragement and remind yourself that you are worthy of love and acceptance.
Remember, changing negative thoughts takes time and practice. Be patient and persistent with these techniques, and gradually you'll experience a shift towards more positive thinking patterns.

To help your brain move to a better thought over a negative one, it's essential to practice awareness and active intervention. Start by recognizing when negative thoughts arise and consciously choose to redirect your focus. Engage in activities that bring you joy and promote a positive mindset, such as listening to uplifting music, reading inspirational books, or engaging in creative outlets. 

Challenge negative thoughts by questioning their validity and searching for alternative, more positive perspectives. Replace negative self-talk with encouraging and supportive affirmations. Surround yourself with positive influences and supportive people who can help shift your perspective. 

Finally, practice self-compassion and forgiveness, recognizing that everyone experiences negative thoughts and setbacks. By consistently practicing these strategies, you can train your brain to seek and embrace better thoughts, leading to increased resilience, happiness, and overall well-being.

Here are five ways to help your brain look for better thoughts over negative ones:

  1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Engage in regular mindfulness and meditation practices. These techniques help you observe your thoughts without judgment and create space between you and your negative thoughts. By cultivating a non-reactive and present-moment awareness, you can interrupt negative thought patterns and create room for more positive and constructive thoughts to emerge.
  2. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with positive influences, such as uplifting books, podcasts, and supportive people. Seek out environments that foster positivity and optimism. The more exposure you have to positive ideas and experiences, the more your brain will naturally gravitate towards better thoughts.
  3. Cognitive Restructuring: Cognitive restructuring is a technique that involves challenging and reframing negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, consciously question its validity and explore alternative perspectives. Look for evidence that contradicts the negative thought and reframe it into a more positive or balanced statement. Practice this regularly to rewire your brain to seek out better thoughts.
  4. Gratitude Practice: Cultivate a daily gratitude practice. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small. This practice rewires your brain to focus on the good, helping it naturally seek out and generate better thoughts. Consider keeping a gratitude journal or sharing your gratitude with others to enhance the benefits.
  5. Engage in Positive Self-Talk: Pay attention to your internal dialogue and consciously replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and supportive statements. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, and consciously choose thoughts that uplift and encourage you. Over time, your brain will learn to default to more positive thoughts and beliefs.
Remember, changing your thought patterns takes time and effort. Be patient and consistent with these practices, and you'll gradually train your brain to seek out better thoughts over negative ones.

Young Living Essential Oils I use when doing these Five "C's" are Frankincense, Lavender, Stress Away (as a blend in equal drops), Clarity, and Abundance.  Check out these oils by clicking HERE!

If you'd like to have a free consult click HERE!

Grab my free resource Five Steps to Intentional Change click HERE!

If you'd like to grab my latest book "Find Your Purpose...Find Your Passion"  click HERE!

Here's a review just in from Susan Brown!

"I loved this book! The author shows us how our thoughts define our future, and provides all the practical information we need to start overcoming obstacles in our lives and achieving things we thought we could never do. Punctuated with stories about her own journey, the author provides a step-by-step guide to finding purpose in life and living it with passion. She teaches us how to identify the things we need to change, and the skills to commit to that change and always be accountable. Importantly, she identifies the power of truly believing in ourselves, and never, ever giving up."   Susan Brown.


10 things about Self Coaching you should know!


Let's talk about why self-coaching can be life-changing in all areas of life.

Self-coaching is a powerful approach to personal growth and development. It involves taking on the role of both the coach and the coachee, allowing you to guide yourself toward your desired goals and outcomes. Self-coaching empowers you to become more self-aware, reflective, and proactive in your journey of self-improvement. It involves setting clear objectives, identifying obstacles, and developing strategies to overcome them. 

Through self-coaching, you can cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself, your strengths, and your areas for improvement. You can set realistic action plans, monitor your progress, and make necessary adjustments along the way. Self-coaching provides a sense of autonomy and ownership over one's personal development, leading to increased self-confidence and a greater sense of fulfillment.

One of the key benefits of self-coaching is the ability to tailor the process to individual needs and preferences. It allows you to explore your unique perspectives and insights, promoting a more personalized and meaningful growth experience. Self-coaching also fosters a sense of accountability, as you take responsibility for your actions and decisions. 

You become an active participant in your own development, which can lead to increased motivation and a stronger commitment to achieving your goals. Moreover, self-coaching can be a lifelong skill that you can apply to various aspects of your life, empowering you to learn, adapt, and grow continuously. By embracing self-coaching, you can unlock your full potential and create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.

Here are five benefits of self-coaching:

  1. Increased Self-Awareness: Self-coaching enables you to develop a deep understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, values, and aspirations. By exploring your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, you gain insight into what drives you and what holds you back. This heightened self-awareness allows for more intentional decision-making and empowers you to align your actions with your true self.
  2. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Through self-coaching, you learn to identify and analyze challenges and obstacles that stand in the way of your goals. You develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, enabling you to come up with creative and effective strategies to overcome these challenges. Self-coaching encourages you to think outside the box, explore alternative perspectives, and find innovative solutions to problems.
  3. Greater Empowerment and Autonomy: Self-coaching puts you in the driver's seat of your personal growth journey. It fosters a sense of empowerment and ownership over one's life and development. Instead of relying on external sources for guidance, you become self-reliant and confident in your ability to navigate challenges and make decisions. This autonomy promotes a greater sense of control, freedom, and self-determination.
  4. Flexible and Personalized Approach: Self-coaching allows you to tailor the process to your unique needs, preferences, and circumstances. Unlike traditional coaching, self-coaching provides the freedom to explore personal insights, experiment with different strategies, and adapt the approach as needed. This flexibility enables you to create a coaching style that resonates with you, maximizing your growth potential.
  5. Lifelong Learning and Growth: Self-coaching is a lifelong skill that you can apply to various areas of your life. It encourages a growth mindset and a continuous pursuit of personal development. By becoming your own coach, you cultivate a habit of self-reflection, learning from your experiences, and continuously seeking opportunities for growth. Self-coaching equips you with the tools and mindset to adapt to change, embrace new challenges, and evolve throughout your life.
When you learn how to self coach yourself your chances of success in every area of your life increase.  Here are 5 ways that that will help

1. Clarity of Goals and Vision: Self-coaching helps individuals gain clarity about their goals, aspirations, and the vision they have for their lives. By engaging in self-reflection and asking powerful questions, individuals can define their objectives with precision and establish a clear roadmap toward success. This clarity increases their chances of success by providing a clear direction to focus their efforts and energy.

2. Personalized Strategies and Action Plans: Self-coaching allows individuals to design personalized strategies and action plans that are tailored to their unique strengths, interests, and circumstances. Instead of relying on generic approaches, individuals can leverage their self-awareness to identify the most effective methods to achieve their goals. This customized approach maximizes their chances of success by capitalizing on their individual strengths and minimizing potential obstacles.

3. Increased Accountability: Self-coaching cultivates a sense of accountability and personal responsibility. When individuals take on the role of both the coach and the coachee, they establish a strong commitment to their own success. By setting specific milestones, tracking progress, and holding themselves accountable for their actions, individuals become more motivated and driven to achieve their desired outcomes.

4. Self-Motivation and Resilience: Self-coaching fosters self-motivation and resilience, two crucial qualities for success. Through the process of self-reflection and goal-setting, individuals connect with their intrinsic motivations and the deeper reasons behind their aspirations. This internal drive helps individuals stay focused, overcome obstacles, and persevere in the face of setbacks or challenges.

5. Continuous Learning and Adaptability: Self-coaching promotes a mindset of continuous learning and adaptability. Individuals engage in ongoing self-reflection, seeking opportunities for growth and improvement. This mindset allows them to learn from their experiences, adjust their strategies as needed, and adapt to changing circumstances. By continuously honing their skills and expanding their knowledge, individuals increase their ability to navigate the path to success effectively.

Young Living Essential Oils I recommend for self-coaching are, Frankincense, Stress Away, Lavender, Peppermint, Citrus Fress, Lemon, and Peace and Calming.  HERE'S a link to check them out!

Grab my free resource "How Mindful Are You"  HERE!

If you would like a free consult book HERE!

Have an awesome week!




Help I'm stuck and need to get moving again!


Feeling stuck in life can be a frustrating and disheartening experience. It often arises when we feel like we're not making progress toward our goals or that we're trapped in a situation we don't want to be in. This can lead to feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and even depression. However, being stuck in life is a common experience, and there are ways to move forward. 

One way to start is by examining the reasons why you feel stuck. Is it because you're lacking direction, motivation, or resources? Once you understand the root cause of your situation, you can start to explore different ways to overcome it.

There are several ways to move forward when you feel stuck in life. One is to set new goals for yourself. This could involve redefining your priorities, exploring new interests, or pursuing a different career path. Another way to move forward is by seeking support from others. 

This could mean reaching out to friends or family for emotional support or seeking professional help from a therapist or coach. Additionally, taking action towards your goals, no matter how small, can also help you break out of feeling stuck. Remember, progress doesn't have to happen overnight, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. By staying committed and focused on your goals, you can begin to move forward and overcome the feeling of being stuck in life.

There are two types of mindset: growth and fixed. A growth mindset is a belief that abilities and skills can be developed through dedication and hard work. People with a growth mindset see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow and believe that failure is not a permanent setback but a chance to improve. 

On the other hand, a fixed mindset is the belief that abilities and skills are fixed and cannot be changed. People with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges, fear failure, and view it as a reflection of their inherent abilities. They tend to give up easily when faced with obstacles and do not see the value in taking risks or trying new things.

The main difference between a growth and a fixed mindset is that a growth mindset focuses on development and improvement, while a fixed mindset focuses on innate ability. People with a growth mindset are more likely to take on challenges, seek feedback, and embrace change, leading to a greater potential for success and personal growth. 

In contrast, people with a fixed mindset tend to have a more limited view of their potential and may miss out on opportunities for growth and development. By understanding the differences between these mindsets, individuals can take steps to cultivate a growth mindset and achieve their full potential.

Having a growth mindset means believing that you can improve and develop your skills and abilities through hard work, dedication, and perseverance. It's a mindset that encourages continuous learning and embraces challenges as opportunities for growth. People with a growth mindset understand that failure is not a permanent setback but a chance to learn and improve. 

They view setbacks and obstacles as challenges to be overcome rather than reasons to give up. With a growth mindset, individuals are more likely to take on new challenges, seek feedback, and embrace change. By adopting a growth mindset, people can achieve their full potential and create a more fulfilling and satisfying life for themselves.

Having a fixed mindset means believing that your skills, abilities, and intelligence are fixed and cannot be changed. People with a fixed mindset tend to avoid challenges, feel threatened by feedback or criticism, and give up easily when faced with obstacles. They see failure as a reflection of their inherent abilities and tend to view it as a personal weakness. 

This mindset can lead to a lack of motivation, decreased performance, and reduced potential for growth and development. Individuals with a fixed mindset may miss out on opportunities for learning and personal growth because they are not willing to take risks or try new things. By recognizing and challenging a fixed mindset, individuals can begin to shift their beliefs and behaviors towards a growth mindset, leading to increased motivation, resilience, and potential for success.

Here are five ways to change a fixed mindset:

  1. Embrace challenges: Instead of avoiding challenges, seek out opportunities to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone. This will help you develop a growth mindset and build resilience.
  2. Emphasize effort over ability: Focus on the effort you put in rather than the outcome. Recognize that hard work and dedication can lead to growth and improvement.
  3. Learn from criticism: Instead of feeling threatened by criticism, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Seek feedback and use it to improve your skills and performance.
  4. Embrace learning: Develop a love of learning and a curiosity for new things. This will help you develop new skills and improve your abilities.
  5. Cultivate a positive mindset: Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings, cultivate a positive mindset. Practice gratitude, mindfulness, and self-compassion to help you develop a growth mindset and achieve your goals.

    If you would like to know more about "getting out of the rut" then you might like my book "Find Your Purpose/Find Your Passion.  The link is HERE!  You can also get my free resource "Stop! How do you get out of your own way?  HERE!






 
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